Ruwhei Alpha (ruwhei) wrote,
Ruwhei Alpha

241 days.

I must be going for some record here in the lack of updates.

Its not that things haven't gone on. Had a pay cut for this year. Riding has been an off/on thing. My latigo strings broke, and this is a simple repair but I seem to be flailing around at actually fixing it.

My mother passed away in May, so now I have no parents. I have been really not wanting to post anything about that, because I know I'll get a lot of sympathetic I'm sorry's from folks, and it feels odd now that its been several months ago, and she had been going downhill for many months. There's a sort of relief that she passed away relatively painlessly and 'quickly' rather than suffering a lot, and the strain on finances for the medical care was extreme. Basically, if you're gonna get sick for a while, be prepared to be destitute. The whole health care debate (to me) is not really whether government should pay for health care -- it will one way or another -- its just whether the sick person should be bankrupt first.

Most other things are pretty normal. The cars are starting to show their very long teeth, but I've been reluctant to buy anything new. Houses look very inexpensive now. I've often thought of renting my current house and buying a new house.

I could use a vacation from obligation.

I have decided I am an awful leader. I seem to lack some fundamental charisma to inspire people to participate toward some goal or activity. I don't really seem to know what causes this other than I seem to lack a certain 'knack'. As an individual participant people seem to like me and even admire or like my style, but the moment I'm in charge things fall apart. I think it might be because I tend to have expecations of people doing "A good job" or following up with their commitments, and when they fail to meet my expectations they get angry. If I were in their position I'd get sad that I was not able to achieve, so this is foreign to me.

I really should buy a new tv one of these days. But its hard to justify, I watch so little tv -- maybe 2-3 shows a month.

Might be making a trip in October; I'll let you know how it goes.
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